We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
