I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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