i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I know her cup size but not her name....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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