This is not my ceiling
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
