Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
