as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
