Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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