I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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