Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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