That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
