I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
