Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
