I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
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So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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