what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
