Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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