to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
