Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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