He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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