i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize