i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.