i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
