ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
