I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Drunk is not a location!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.