i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
