This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
