none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
