problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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