My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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