69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize