your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
