What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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