You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
