that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
