marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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