i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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