Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
