I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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