Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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