he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
