He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
