hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize