you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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