I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
