1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Bring me that man meat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
