Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
