Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize