I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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