oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
