his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
