dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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