Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
