thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
