Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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