exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I looked at my own cervix.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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