So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
